Home Improvements: Lintels Aren’t Lentils

I’ve learned two things recently: Colombia doesn’t have a ‘U’ in it, and Lintels aren’t pronounced Lentils. I love that I’m stupid enough to still be learning new things.

We returned from Denmark to find that Andy-the-builder and his son, Sonny, who Andy often refers to as “the boy”, had made great progress while we were away. They are diligent and trustworthy workers, fun to be around, good sense of humour, good singing voices, and I couldn’t be happier to have them in my house, whether I’m there or not.

The boiler hanging by a thread from the wall. But it still works!

The electrician, Steve, made more circular holes in the ceiling for the down-lighters, which are LED lights and cost nothing to use. The man is like a mole making holes everywhere. The LED bulbs cost an arm and a leg, I’m told, so it might take a few years to break even on the money saving side of it. Steve’s work is finished for a while, but he’ll return after the plasterer finishes the walls and ceilings. He also needs to connect up the thermostat for the new under-floor heating. He bid us all goodbye, thanked me for the excellent coffee, and he drove off in his somewhat mangled silver Volvo.

The steel lintels in place and holding things up.

The steel lintels are in place, and steel supports are gone. In truth, I’m glad that I wasn’t home for that manoeuvre. Too stressful for my ticker. The lintels will be covered with coving and fire-proof plaster board, and then painted. I might put some of my old horse brasses up there, and maybe a few Royal Copenhagen Christmas plates. Not sure about that – just thinking out loud. Fairy lights? Nah, don’t think so. Oh, that reminds me – Happy Birthday to my beautiful granddaughter, Emma!

A mountain of furniture in the living room

All of the living room furniture is pushed to the centre of the room, and covered with the most beautiful 100% cotton linen fabric … I might ask Andy to leave it behind for me when the job is finished. The pile is a whole mountain: sofas, chairs, TVs, tables, lamps and stuff, all covered with cotton sheets and then a tarpaulin. On several occasions since returning home we’ve had to dig our way in and under the pile of furniture to retrieve things like battery chargers, iPad chargers, pens and pencils and paper, remote controls … you know, the necessities that you forget to put aside when you have to rush off to Denmark for your mother-in-law’s funeral … and you can’t think straight, and you’re lucky to remember your passport and house keys as you dash off for the airport.

Not sure what Andy-the-Builder and Sonny-the-Boy have on the agenda for tomorrow. Another day – another adventure.